Hope

Some days it is hard to hope. Sometimes it doesn't need to be major stuff. Just daily life can be hard and draining. I don't know about you, but some days I resign my heart and settle into the life that is here now. I grow so weary of disappointment. I don't want to put my heart out there yet again and have the ache grow deeper.

Sometimes I try to find my meaning within my current life. I grasp to try to get things just a bit more organized or have just a bit more meaningful time with my family, or try to weather the current storm of difficulty. None of that is bad in and of itself, the problem comes when I try to find my hope and life in my current chapter, instead of focusing on God, and the eternal story.

I was reminded today (Romans 5:1-5 and 5:8) that true hope is actually a very beautiful, glorious thing. I allowed myself to just sit in the ache of hope as tears streamed down my face. Hope reminds us that we are not yet where we are meant to be. It reminds us that our "current sufferings are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us". (Romans 8:18)

Something remarkable happened this morning. It was the kind of thing I have experienced many times before, and yet it always holds a sense of wonder for me. I sat in the sense of deep contentment and joy in not trying to fill myself by any other means (even escaping into activity), but in simply allowing myself to be still and aware of the ache that I truly cannot fill. God is here. He knows and sees. He comforts and heals. That should always be enough. Today I am pointedly aware that it is. May it be so more often. I hope.